We want to start by saying thank you for taking the time to read more about us. This is the most important thing weve ever had to write, and since one of us literally writes for a living, we dont take that lightly! We know we cant even start to understand what youre going through, but we hope getting to know us more will help. As challenging as this process sometimes feels for us, we never lose sight of the fact that your role in this process can come with more stress and infinitely more difficult decisions. We trust that whatever decisions you do make will be the best for you, and well be honored if were a part of that journey.
Nicole & Liz
Dear Birth Mother,
Our Adoption Story
We both knew that we wanted children, and as we grew up and understood our sexuality, we had to consider what a family would look like for us as a same-sex couple. because of this, we've always had adoption as part of the conversation when thinking about our future. As we matured as a couple and conversations about the future became more serious, we both learned quickly that neither of us has a strong urge to carry a baby ourselves or have a child biologically. Adoption just always felt like the right choice from the beginning.
As two women, we also always knew that the picture of our family would look different than most biological families, so we feel equipped to care for children who are different racially or culturally from ourselves.
Because Nicole is a childrens author, our bookshelves are full of an array of diverse childrens books, and Lizs job in higher education allows her the opportunity to work on learning projects suitable for people from all different backgrounds. At the end of the day, whats important to us is the opportunity to raise a family no matter what.
About Us
We met over a decade ago when we were both film majors in college. We had one class together Liz's senior year (poetry!) but we didn't actually talk much or become friends quite yet. It wasn't until the summer after when Nicole was babysitting nightly (and bored when the children were asleep) that they began texting back and forth to pass the time. The only reason Liz originally reached out to chat in the first place was because during one random conversation in poetry class, Nicole happened to mention an obscure film that she had seen, and this caught Liz's attention, as Liz was and is a huge film nerd. And it was all history from there...almost.
In the early years of their friendship, Nicole wasn't out to her family yet. This made things difficult, as it was hard to be in a relationship when it felt like a scary secret. During this time, however, even though our futures didn't seem like something solid yet that we could grasp, we both knew that we needed each other in our lives, in whatever form that might be.
When Nicole finally did come out of the closet, and we had stuck together through it all, we came out the other side with a solid foundation and even stronger friendship that made marriage seem easy and inevitable.
After we got married, some friends and family asked, what's married life like? But nothing ever changed for us. We're still best friends who spend time binge-watching Netflix, playing the new Pokemon game for Nintendo Switch, experimenting with fun foods in the kitchen, and playing fetch with our cat who thinks she's a dog. During the early days of quarantine during the COVID pandemic, with both of us suddenly working from home together, we never felt cramped or crowded or needed space from one another. We've just always been best friends who enjoy hanging out together.
Meet Nicole
Just like I always knew I wanted to be a parent, I always knew I wanted to be a writer, too. The story goes that when I was eight, I read Harriet the Spy and wanted to carry around a notebook and write down everything I saw, just like the main character did. I used to beg my parents to buy me notebooks every time they went shopping, and I would hide under the kitchen table and behind corners to write down what everyone was saying. That turned into me writing stories about me and my cousins going on wacky adventures, and I just kept writing from there.
Since it was a children's book that had inspired me, I knew I wanted to write those kinds of books, too. Though my life did take some detours along the way (I went to school for film and even worked as a personal trainer for a little while) I was eventually able to achieve my goals. I'm a published author who writes middle grade books, which are books for kids between the ages of 9 and 12. As much as I love getting to write stories for a living, what I love the most is getting to interact with the kids I write for. At book signing events and school visits, I love to hear from the kids who read my books. I can't wait to be able to read stories, both mine and others, to my kids someday.
I was born and raised in coastal New Jersey, and I've always been a beach kid at heart. I love the outdoors and being active, which is something that Liz and I share. We love going on walks and hikes together, and sometimes run 5k races together, too. I've also recently gotten into roller derby. While I was akin to a baby deer on roller skates at first, I've really enjoyed learning how to skate and how to play the sport. What I love about roller derby is how inclusive it is. The local team that I skate with tells us often that skating is for everybody, and every BODY.
I've always really loved sports. Liz and I both go often to watch local hockey games and, especially, WNBA games. I played a lot of sports growing up (basketball, field hockey, and softball) and while I know sports aren't for everyone, I've got my fingers crossed I'll be able to coach a little league team or two for my kids who want to play sports, too.
I hope that if you learn anything about me in this section, its that I want to be the kind of mom who is active and involved, who listens to their kids to understand what makes them happy in life, and how I can be a part of whatever that might be.
Meet Liz
Very similarly to Nicole, just like I always knew I wanted to be a parent, I've always loved learning. I was that huge nerd in school who would legitimately enjoy doing homework (most subjects) because I've always loved the process of expanding my knowledge. I love it so much that I essentially never left college. I currently work with university instructors on finding fun, new learning tools to help make their classes more interesting. I also teach because (again) I love it so much.
I was born in Texas, but grew up in Pennsylvania (both of my parents were in the military). As the oldest child with two siblings, I always felt very proud of my role as the oldest and looked after my siblings. When one of my siblings came out as trans a couple of years ago, I was at the ready to serve as a sounding board and provide emotional support as they needed.
Growing up, I loved to read and extra loved movies. Legit; my undergraduate and graduate degrees are in film! Anything from your classic Disney movie to Lifetime cheesy flick to independent films nobody but Nicole and I will see, I love it all. In addition, I've been crocheting since I was in 1st grade. I vividly remember my mom teaching me when she noticed that I needed something to occupy my hands, and it certainly stuck for life. I always keep Nicole and I stocked up in scarves and gloves, and I would absolutely love the opportunity to get started on a baby blanket for our new child.
After going to graduate school, I moved to be closer to Nicole. I quickly learned that I was also a beach girl deep down, and thoroughly enjoyed strolls by the water. As someone who has also always loved baking and cooking, and is a little bit crunchy granola, I'm also looking forward to making my own baby food. I very much believe that good, natural food leads to happy and healthy minds.
It is my hope that if you learn anything about me in this section, its that I want to be the kind of parent that readily embraces the needs of my child, and will do my part to ensure that they are happy, healthy, and feel safe as they navigate their way through life.
Our Home
We love our home. We love the downtown area, full of things to do. For example, we have a Russian bar, a vegan restaurant, and an Irish pub in a building that used to be an old church all on one street! We also live by the waterfront, where we often go for morning runs and evening walks along the boardwalk. On the boardwalk, you can always find people walking their dogs, fishing, and flying kites or playing catch on the fields that surround it. Its a family friendly place where people walk with their strollers and throw frisbees with their kids, and we are looking forward to doing the same with our own kids someday soon.
The room in our apartment that gets the most use is probably the kitchen. We're constantly doing what we can to make more space, for new baking equipment or cookware. We love experimenting in the kitchen. One of our favorite things to do is make our own pasta, which always takes up all our counterspace when we do, but is totally worth it!
We have huge bookcases filled with books along the wall of our living room. It's one of the perks of Nicole's job as an author, but also we're constantly buying new books of all kinds to read. Our children will never be in short supply of diverse books of all different reading levels - we even already have a bookcase dedicated to picture books just waiting to be read out loud at bedtime!
Coziness is important to us; you'll never find us in short supply of comfy blankets and pillows. We take our movie nights seriously - we met in film school after all, and you can't watch a good movie without being as comfortable as possible!
We've both lived here for a long time, and regardless if our child is athletic, likes the beach, enjoys eating, and/or reading and watching good movies, they'll feel right at home with us.
Meet Gillian
When we first moved in together, Liz was working in an office full time during the week and Nicole was (and still is) working from home. Though that has changed, Nicole knew she wanted a companion during the days when Liz wasn't around so she wouldn't get lonely. So, we decided to try getting a cat.
Enter Gillian (named after the great Gillian Anderson of the X-Files). Gillian is a cat who turned out to be basically a dog. No, really. She comes running to the door when you get home from work, she plays fetch, she rolls over so that you can pet her belly. She's an extremely loving and gentle cat - we joke that, as a rescue kitten, she would have never survived in the wild because she has absolutely no survival skills whatsoever.
Just like Gillian made an excellent companion to us both, we think she would also make a perfect companion for a child to grow up with, too.
Family, Friends & Traditions
We decided to put our friends and family section together with our traditions, because so many of our traditions are tied up with and part of our loved ones. When it comes to traditions, the things that come to mind are Nicole's moms tomato sauce and meatballs, and how we eat them together when we gather on Sundays. We think about how Christmas Eve is the biggest holiday in our family, where our big extended Italian family all gets together for dinner for a loud (a very, very loud!) joyful celebration of Christmas and family. We spend most of our summers at Nicole's parents boat house, where her dad takes our five o'clock hot tub time very seriously each night! As you can already see, a lot of our traditions are tied up in food: Nicole and her grandmother make their family Christmas cookies every year, and when we aren't with Liz's family for the holidays, her mom (who is a professional baker by trade) is sure to send us a huge box of the delicious cookies she bakes each year (that we eagerly await every time the mail comes!).
And it's not just family that we share our holidays and traditions with: we dye Easter eggs with our friend Laura and her two boys (one of whom is Nicole's godson) every year, where we all end up with colorfully dyed fingers for days afterwards. We've also always gone trick or treating on Halloween with their family, since Halloween is our favorite holiday (Nicole proposed to Liz on Halloween!) and were excited to have our own family to bring trick or treating someday.
We surround ourselves with friends who have similar values and interests to ours, and who maintain a consistent role in our lives. We run 5ks and rock climb with our friend Vanessa, we often go over to our friend Tiffany's house for dinner parties and game nights. And we make the time to go into New York City where some of our friends (and Nicole's brother) live, where we see shows, go to museums and sporting events, and eat good food with one another.
We cant wait to introduce a child to these important people and traditions in our lives. Rest assured, our child would be loved by all of our family and friends.
Conclusion
While what we've shared here is brief, we hope it provides you with a clear idea of who we are as individuals and as a couple, and how much love we have to give as parents. Were honored that you've taken the time to read and learn about us, and we'd be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. Again, we know this is an incredibly difficult decision for you. If there's anything we can do to alleviate your concerns or answer your questions, we will readily do so. Thank you once again for considering us, and we know you will make the best decision for you.
With love and gratitude,
Nicole & Liz
